Are You An Empath?

Has anyone called you shy? Do you feel overwhelmed in social situations? Are you an introvert? Do you pick up on other people’s emotions? It is possible that you are an empath.

I was reading an article last night titled “13 Tips to Support Your Socially Worried Child” when this paragraph really hit home.

“Some children who are considered shy are highly sensitive,meaning very aware of and strongly affected by their environment. Others are introverted, meaning that they need time away from other people to renew their energy. Some children are so absorbed in their own projects and ideas that they're simply less interested in social interaction.” According to author Dr. Laura Markham, website Aha! Parenting.com 

All of these examples have described me at various times in my life. I have struggled to accept myself when so often these traits are overlooked or misunderstood in our society. Most recently, it has come to my attention that it is very likely that I am an empath.

What does it mean to be an empath? “The trademark of an empath is feeling and absorbing other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities. These people filter the world through their intuition and have a difficult time intellectualizing their feelings.” 

Everything has an energetic vibration or frequency and an empath is able to sense these vibrations. They can recognize even the subtlest changes that are undetectable to the naked eye or the five senses. 

As an empath it is incredibly important to know yourself, for as you walk through your day to day life, you are constantly picking up on others emotions, thoughts and even physical pain in the form of energy. If you are unaware that you are tuned into these vibrations, you tend to misinterpret the sensations and in turn own the emotions and pain that you are experiencing rather than distinguishing then from your true emotions.  This sensation can be very confusing, often almost numbing. Imagine if you were a photograph, your body is the negative in an old school camera, and your mind is the aperture. You let in light, the vibrational energy around you.  Closing the aperture at the right time gives you an image that you can interpret and understand, but if you don’t even know how to close the aperture or let alone know that the aperture is open, you can flood yourself with this energy and the resulting image is overexposed, similarly in real life you feel overwhelmed.

So first of all, do you think you are an empath?  Take this test to find out.

Secondly, if you are an empath and are seeking to understand how it can benefit you rather than hinder you, consider how confident you are about your own personal emotional awareness.  As my search to understand what it means to be an empath continues, it seems to me that we all are empathic to some degree. I believe that this degree is impacted by two factors, the degree to which we understand what being an empath is and secondly what our emotional state is at any given time.  

Figure: Emotional Awareness Matrix

These two factors, when combined create four quadrants of a matrix whereby in one corner YOU DON’T KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW. Meaning you don’t know that you are an empath and you are vibrating at a low frequency such as in a state of anger or depression. This creates a sensation of suffering; you are a victim of circumstance; feel overwhelmed and powerless.  You are unaware that you have any control over your own emotions, you are reacting and have low self-confidence.

Beside this, is the quadrant where YOU KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW, or you know you are an empath but you are feeling low, sad or shameful for example.  The outcomes are feelings of insecurity; you consider yourself a victim; you are co-dependent; you match the vibrations or others and are a “people-pleaser”.

When you are vibrating at a higher emotional state such as joy, happiness, willingness, love, but you are unaware that you are an empath, you are in a third quadrant, YOU DON’T KNOW YOU KNOW.  This creates a feeling also of “people pleasing”, but it can be confusing and you may come across as arrogant, selfish or overconfident. It may be confused with narcissism. You may experience intense feelings that do not correspond to what is going on for you at that time in your life and you may try to arrange your circumstances to match your lower feelings, moving you back into another quadrant unnecessarily.   

Lastly, the fouth quadrant is one where YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.  You are vibrating highly and you are very aware of your empathic abilities. You are able to distinguish between your own emotions and the emotions of others that you are interacting with.  You already are or you are able to be a healer.  You encourage those around you and are very understanding of the emotional states of the people you bring your awareness to, yet you retain a clear boundary of what belongs to you and what energies are not your own. You are emitting confidence, a clear communicator and not impacted by the judgments of others. You have clearly determined how and why you feel the way you do at any given time and understand that you are able to choose your emotions in any situation.  You choose to feel love, peace, joy and happiness.

Therefore the key is confidence which is the same as emotional awareness, our level of knowing about the emotional state we choose to be in, its origin and why. You are either reacting with emotion or you are emitting the emotion you choose to have. When you understand the difference you are taking the first step towards the place where YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.

For more information, here are some links to books that are referenced in the article.